Bad Day...

Today has been a fairly bad day. I went to work this morning at 9 am, after having only gotten a few hours of sleep. I had this feeling last night that something was going to happen today - and thus, just couldn't sleep. Well, sure enough, after about an hour and a half of work. My boss asks me to gather my things and come to the conference room. There, I was terminated for not meeting the sales quota for the past two/three weeks. The impact of the termination is still fresh on me - I guess I'm sort of wrought with fear. What am I going to do now? What can I do to possibly raise the money I need to remain at school for the spring semester? How can I raise that money in less than a month?

I don't want to let this experience taint the success that I've had here the last few months career wise:

1) I've had readings of my work.
2) I've composed several new works that, I feel, are my best works to date.
3) I have a performance of one work coming up on December 6th.
4) I've finalized the contract with a publisher from Europe. This publisher will publish my work for the next 5 years - with distribution in Europe and America.

For once in my life, I am actively living as a composer - doing what I always wanted to do. I feel that these little obstacles that come up are minor at best and, hopefully, that things will work out so I can maintain the growth that I'm experiencing in my craft. Time will tell though. It's not going to be an easy time coming up. Most I can do is face it head on and persevere. The rewards in the end make this time of struggle important.

In closing, I want to wish my readers a very Happy Thanksgiving! Despite the setbacks I've had the last three months, I'm still grateful for all that I've experienced and all the positive things that have happened. I'm also grateful for my step-mother, Barbara Woodruff, she has stood strong by me and has aided me as best she can in this trying time. And I'm grateful for all the wonderful people in my life. Thank you all, I wouldn't be in Chicago right now if not for all your pushing. I promise I will try to make this work and will do my best to make everyone proud. I love you all.

Video of my Reading!!!

As promised to my readers, this is a reading of my Fanfare for Brass Quintet. The group is the Gaudete Brass. While the work was not chosen for their program, they provided this awesome reading which was recorded! Thanks!! I hope my readers enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiAR4EoGTio

Seeking Donations to Help Pay Remaining Balance!

After talking with several people and discussing my situation with Student Accounts, I have set up a WePay Donations page to help raise money to help pay the remaining balance. I'm not comfortable asking for assistance from people -particularly monetary assistance. I was brought up to work hard and earn what I want in life. This is something, I feel, I have exhibited up to this point. So, I'm just going to try this and see if it works.

To Help Pay Jason's Remaining Balance Fund

Reading of two of my works

I have been having an amazing time up here in Chicago despite the stress in dealing with financing. So far, I have had two of my works read in our composition seminar: Falling Ash for solo flute and Fanfare for brass quintet.

Falling Ash started as a piece with very little programmatic inflections. I named it falling ash out randomly. As I got into composing the work, however, the title seemed to direct the overall flow and development of the ideas. In that vein, the work focuses on 1 lone ash ember as it descends to the ground. Rising up and falling down. Zooming in to see the intricacies of movement every now and then. The reading of the work was good. The opening was a bit too airy - not what I wanted. The tempo marking I indicated asked for Rubato and the flautist was able to provide that, somewhat. All in all, a good reading.

The Fanfare for Brass Quintet was one of the most difficult pieces I've written. I had the initial idea, which opens the piece in the Horn, sketched weeks before. The final version was the result of about 9 previous attempts at writing for the ensemble. The work itself looks at two contrasting ideas and superimposes them on top of each other towards the middle of the work. The reading went well. The only issue they had was my use of the tuba descending on triplet sixteenths AND a few notational errors in the score - mainly beaming issues.

All in all, I really enjoyed hearing both of these works being read by live instruments. I think I learned a lot from the experience!

Hope my readers are having a good morning!

New Composition in the works

Working on a new composition. I've been thinking a lot on mortality and similar topics. The result of that pontificating is a poem which explores the three scenes of a person's life. Yes, I know, I have been so into portraying scenes in my music of late. The three scenes are: 1) Youthful rebellion, 2) Middle Age realization of mortality, and 3) Twilight and the waiting for the inevitable. Interspersed between these scenes is a refrain of silence and a saying about one's observation on time. I think it's going to be a pretty interesting work. Musically, I am working with very limited material for this: a 6 note scale and just two ideas pulled from it. It's going to be interesting to see if I can pull an interesting work out of this - hopefully, I can do it.

Also, I have great news! I am getting published!!! I am still pouring over the contract and making sure everything is to my liking - but I am excited none-the-less. Now to see if I can come up with a way to pay for my schooling, lol.

Hope everyone is staying warm! Have a great day!

Time Constraints, Funding Issues, and Composition!

The past few months have been exceptionally busy for me. So this will be a much longer post than normal to make up for the absence!

My time of late has become extremely limited. I have been working in the call center at the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, going to school full time, and trying to arrange time to complete homework and compositions! I like keeping busy but time is just so precious AND I have to have time to relax to regroup my bearings a bit. I love it though!

I still haven't got the funding issue taken care of. My family urged me to live on campus instead of off campus - and that has really cost me. So, since I'm unable to pay the 1200/month payment on my remaining balance to the school - I won't be able to register for spring classes. I've been searching for various grants and scholarships to assist in helping me pay off the housing. Sadly, with this economy most of these options are swamped with applications! I'm debating, and perhaps my readers can offer insight, about perhaps trying to raise money through my friends via FB and my other social network sites. I've heard of people doing this before - any thoughts?

Finally, I have been very active in my composition pursuits. I have composed a new work for string quartet, a piece for solo flute, a miniature for brass quintet, AND am now working on a song for mezzo-soprano with oboe and horn accompaniment! I've learned a lot so far in my studies up here. Hopefully, I can get things situated financially to remain in class without any interruptions!

Hope all my readers have been having an amazing couple of months. I promise to start blogging more! I miss sharing and venting my thoughts and frustrations.

Chicago!

First, I just want to say that Chicago is..... ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! I love this city and am starting to really be able to maneuver around this area without any problems!

Second, I have had an amazing week of orientation at CCPA! My teachers are amazing and the school is so 'serious' about music study! I think I'll do well here. I registered for my classes today:

Musicianship I ABC (Aural, Sight Singing, and Written Theory)
Elements of Conducting
Composition Seminar
Composition Lessons with Dr. Choi
Music History I

Third, I also now work for the Chicago Symphony's Priority Seating department! I started on Monday!!!

That's just a bit of the excitement of my week this week. It's been amazing here! LOVE IT!

Indianapolis Family Time

In Indianapolis with my family for one last week before move-in day this Saturday! Going to see my Grandma tomorrow! So excited!

Got an email today from the head of the composition department at Roosevelt. I will be studying with Dr. Choi! I was hoping to get Dr. Garrop but I'm not going to complain. Dr Choi seems like a very knowledgeable woman! Really stoked about the start of the school year!!! <3

Last Night In Central Illinois!

Tonight is my last night as a resident of Central Illinois! Tomorrow morning at 11 AM I will be heading to Indianapolis, IN to spend time with my family one last time before my move up to Chicago. The past 3 years in the area here have really been life changing ones for me. I went from being freshly separated from an 8 year relationship and working a job which I hated to being back in school in pursuit of my own dreams with the new found ability to make my own decisions. It's moments like these where I'm reminded of those cheesy 1980 films that showcased a child coming up in poverty, experiencing life in their twenties, and then making a decision to do 'something' with their life. You all know the films. I guess I'm sort of like that - the world feels now in my grasp.

Now to just work harder than I ever worked in my life and seek to make my goals and dreams a true reality.

Better Today...

So I woke up this morning and stepped outside. Was an absolutely breathtaking morning! It got me thinking though... no matter how much drama can occur in a day, there is always another day. And today has been a lot better actually.

Threatened Dreams....

Today has been one of those days!

To start, my laptop was the poor recipient of a spilled cup of water! I usually have a glass of water or cup of coffee to the right of my laptop on the desk. As I was trying to swat a fly, my hand grazed the cup of water and knocked it right on top of the laptop! The laptop works but the monitor does not.

Second, I learned today that my appeal for an increase in Pell Grant was denied. The result is that I now have about a week and a half to come up with $7,944 in remaining tuition/room and board costs for my college. This has greatly depressed me today. I've worked very hard the past year in trying to achieve my goals and now am faced with the prospects of my pursuance of my career goals being in jeopardy due to financial reasons. I have applied for private loans over the past month - only to be told that each of the 7 different cosigners I have used were ineligible! I have also applied for several scholarships - sadly, I wont know of any of them until after school starts. I have also gotten a job interview at the Chicago Symphony Orchestra in their tele-sales department! I don't think I'll make a whole lot of money though due to my obligations at Roosevelt. The good news is... that my tuition itself is pretty much paid for! The 7944 due is from the combined cost of housing and the mandatory health insurance.

Third, I realized today that I am going to be stressed over leaving my partner of 2 years for, at least, the next year. He is going to be attending the esthetics program at the Midwest College of Cosmetology at Lincoln College in Bloomington-Normal. His costs are fine for the first semester and short for the second semester. I have come to greatly appreciate his company over the past 2 years. He has pushed me to pursue my own goals and aspirations in ways that no one before him has been able to do. His support to me is something I greatly appreciate and is something that I feel has pushed me to seek the best for myself in pursuance of my dreams.

I have faced a lot of disappointment in my life. My mother disappeared years ago and, as the years go by, is constantly on my mind. My father passed away, as many of my readers may know, back in April of 2010 in a shed fire. The closest relative on my mother's side, my Uncle, has been battling cancer for the past few years. It's not been an easy life that I lead and music has always given me the strength to overlook the many obstacles I have faced with some amount of strength. I hope, and pray, that I can overcome this latest obstacle and rise above to achieve that which I know I am capable of achieving. This career path I am now pursuing, I feel, is the path of my destiny. The path I was meant to do. I don't know what the future holds for me - I do know though, that with my patience, resilience, and intellect that I can go to my first placement test a week from Monday and know that I will be able to finish out my year without any interruption! I've worked very hard, and I know that I will have to work even harder to finish this chapter in my life.

Moving in a few days...

It's really hitting me how close I am to the start of school AND how close it is till I live this part of Illinois for a few years (or more.) I've really gotten used to the area and love the scenery, people, and attractions it has to offer. It's been a very welcome moment in my life to live here... now on to the next chapter!

A quiet day...

Been taking a bit of a break today from focusing on school-related stuff. Worked a little bit this morning on a piano piece. Nothing too substantial, just fun. Looking forward to tomorrow.

Just a bit of a vent...

So I am currently working on locating financing for the remaining $8,000 still owed to Roosevelt. I have tried every possible cosigner that I can think of and, so far, not a single one has been approved. I received another notice today from Sallie Mae that I am eligible for a private student loan BUT.. I need a creditworthy cosigner!! It's an annoying process that really makes one wonder WHY there isn't more aide available to students who need it, like myself! At any rate, I've applied for a lot of scholarship over the past two days - hopefully one of them pays off with some help! I have also applied at a few places near my school/apartment. Ah... the joys of moving to a big city!

Some good news:

Evidently, I am coming in as a sophomore into the music composition program! wOOT!

Orientation :D

I had my new student orientation at Roosevelt this past Monday! It was amazing! I got to see my new apartment as well - it overlooks Lake Michigan!!!! I feel so good about this period in my life now - I think good things are in store for me!!

Reflections

Did a little bit of genealogical research last night and then listened to some of my compositions. Quite surprising listening back to them and seeing how much I've changed over the years. Makes me look forward and contemplate how I will change in the near and distant future. Ah... reflections.

2 Weeks to Go!

I am really starting to get psyched up about the start of my semester at CCPA! I feel it's going to be an amazing time - I'm so privileged to get the opportunity to study in Chicago!! All my preparations are pretty much done, I think I have a few more things to get (clothes!) though. I've started work on a new set of preludes similar to my Inclinations. The first two are finished - I have ideas for the third BUT, iono, just feel like taking my time in writing them.

Long Summer...

Sorry for not posting in a few months. Summer has been very hectic so far for me. I have been in Indiana the past few months spending time with family, doing further research on my family tree, and preparing for my move to Chicago on August 20. Sooo... where to begin, lol.

Family Tree: I have made a lot of surprising discoveries on my father's side of the family. My grandfather, who passed away in 1970, lived in New Jersey before moving to the region in the 1950s. The New Jersey Woodruffs of which he belonged were descended from a Thomas Ogden Woodruff and Hannah Markwith. Thomas Ogden's mother was Elizabeth Ogden. The Ogdens, from my understanding, were a very influential family on the East Coast. In fact, Elizabeth's aunt married a man by the name of John Edison. John Edison was the Great Grandfather of Thomas Alva Edison! I, at first, wasn't even aware of this connection until I came -by chance- upon an obituary for my Great Grand Uncle. Shortly after commenting on the obit, I received a message from his daughter! I was amazed! In one of the correspondences, she relayed that family stories stated we were cousins of the Edisons! Sure enough, a little research verified it! I have really learned a lot about myself and my family from this research.

Music: It's been pretty hectic to write as much as I wish I could. I've been working, slowly, on several small projects just to keep my creative juices flowing. Nothing too substantial though.

Chicago: I have a lot of stuff prepared for my move up to the Windy City. So far, I have purchased everything I'll need to make my little dorm apartment home! I've looked into working part time in between my courses. I will give it a try - hopefully, I can manage it. I move up on August 20 and then begin a week of placement testing! To prepare, I am studying to brush up on the basic stuff. Hopefully, I can place into the appropriate theory courses, etc. I'm really psyched about this opportunity!

I'll try to post at least once a week. I do apologize deeply for being a bit busy to give updates!

How should I spend the summer?

Summer break will start on Friday, so what better time than now to start thinking about what I want to do this year. I know I want to spend time with my family in Indianapolis, visit Chicago a few times to get acclimated to the city more, and work on music. What other things sound interesting? Perhaps visit the Trail of Tears in Southern Illinois? A Museum?

Piano Sonata and family news

Continuing work on my piano sonata while doing some in depth studying this weekend for my finals next week. The piano sonata has been slowly churning, lol. I'm just now at about 100 bars - going slow due to the fact that I've been extremely busy with classes.

On the family front, my Uncle's cancer has come out of remission at Stage 3! So, I'm going to make sure I spend extra time with him when I go to Indy on the 23rd. He's been very close to me over the years, and in many ways has filled the place of my parents when they couldn't be there for me. So, yeah, he's been a very important part of my life.